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Cllr Ezekiel finally makes us all smile

Written by Matt B · first published 14/12/2008

As you can probably guess I'm not especially impressed with Cllr Ezekiel. I've given up trying to put it into words and so to bring some holiday cheer here is a caption competition for you all.

The best answer will be added to the image and reposted after Christmas with full credits.

Enter as many times as you want.

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Public Comments

Rick wrote this comment:

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"Look ow det left me doze tastee p-ss rippin geezers innit. Humiliatin or doo wot. Only wiv a fecking liberal tie on do wot maa sahn."

14/12/2008 10:49:22

Rick wrote this comment:

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"So dere I woz see. Asked the man if he wanted a bit a quality floor covering gear like. Well he dun no more dan tell me to feck off innit and mentions udderwise he will treat me to a second fecking bar matts var innit. So naturally I throws the ow Sandy left jab right cross combie nation. He duz no more den slip da puncheees like he's a pro or sumfink. Last fing I remember, before I woke up, is he sez Sandy you shouldn't hev srated into me ow sun I'll tie you up in knots fella"

14/12/2008 10:53:46

Rick wrote this comment:

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Onlooker to police "I thought he shouted Quick Sandy. I thought what is that Ezekiel up to now hiding some cyclohexanone or mercury or something. Then he disappeard with a big glug. This is the final photo I got before he sank. Right there in the new Thanet concentrated pollution pool"

14/12/2008 10:58:23

Rick wrote this comment:

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Sandy "I bin stitched up innit"

Police "By a cross stitch by any chance Mr Ezekiel"

14/12/2008 11:00:24

Rick wrote this comment:

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Sandy "So dere I woz at da Winter Gardens wiv deze ex Black Watch geezers, all in skirts and sporrans and dat, remembering dere fallen comrades and dat. An all I sez is Wots a cross of St Andrew all abaht den"

14/12/2008 11:02:25

Bertie Biggles wrote this comment:

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How many times do I have to tell you t***ers that I am not a f***ing missionary. Carn't a geezer sail off to retirement without ending up in more hot water?

14/12/2008 18:02:33

eastcliff richard wrote this comment:

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'Sandy had quite forgotten how long Roger's tongue was.'

15/12/2008 17:30:33

Rick wrote this comment:

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So dis is wot I got for coming in first in a Steve fecking Ladyman lookelikie competition.

Apparently it is a commentary on the follies of voting in Fannit innit

15/12/2008 20:26:06

Rick wrote this comment:

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So anyways dare I woz just after a Sundy snifter wiv Laurie, Jimmy and Frank and dat. On me way home like. And dis big geezer sez I'll fecking give you cross for no publicity vis a vis the Tesco bag and dat innit.

15/12/2008 20:28:12

Rick wrote this comment:

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So anyways I got the hump down the timber suppliers when dis geezer asks for a lumpa four by two. I sez Do you know who I am son I am Mr Fannit innit and you don't wanna cross me. Last fing I remember was him sorta smiling and saying Oh yeah ....

15/12/2008 20:30:37

Rick wrote this comment:

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So dare I woz when da Christmas lighting and dat fell dahn innit. I sez wot fecking sparkie dun at den. So dis geezer grabs me and tiels me up with electric fire element wire. He's only got it connected up to a generator and joked "Now you a hot cross bum"

Luckily it was a Cummins generator and conked aht like. And dey say I have no sense of irony and dat innit.

15/12/2008 20:33:59

Rick wrote this comment:

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Anyway dis bloke sez he is going to make me into an exhibit for the Turner cultural experience at the old M and S innit. Grabs me like and trusses me up. I sez wot sort of work of art is dis den. He sez populist.

15/12/2008 20:36:43

Rick wrote this comment:

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So whilst I am stuck ere bein a populist work of art innit in the old M and S who do dey let in ? Only bleedin Peter Checksfield wiv a coupla models and a camera and dat innit. Uses me as a backdrop and dat. I sez oi Peter wots yer theme like and wivaht battin an eyelid he sez light and shady dealins innit.

15/12/2008 20:41:54

Bertie Biggles wrote this comment:

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"Orrite, Iris.! I 'umbly apologise for my actions in the Edinburgh Wool Shop. Now I'm a f***ing celebrity, would you let me out of 'ere."

15/12/2008 22:25:26

Bertie Biggles wrote this comment:

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The Standards Board of England is glad to announce its new punishment for recalcitrant and recidivist Councillors who fail to learn how to behave in public.

15/12/2008 22:28:04

Ramsgate resident wrote this comment:

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Makes a change from turkey but where do you put the stuffing??

15/12/2008 22:52:21

Rick wrote this comment:

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I think for snappy wit Ramsgate Resident has the prize here.

So here is my entry for the worst caption

Two pygmies named after pygmy canoe parts

Keel: How do like your eggs Stern

Stern: Over Easy Keel today

16/12/2008 17:29:50

Rick wrote this comment:

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1st Cannibal "What we having for breakfast at our gateway project brekkie briefing ?

2nd Cannibal "Well we sacked the previous caterer and we wil be putting on eggs, mushrooms, bacon, beans, tomatoes and a sliced white pudding"

16/12/2008 17:37:43

Rick wrote this comment:

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Or for the worst taste caption ?

Sandy: You can't eat me I'm Kosher

16/12/2008 17:39:36

Rick wrote this comment:

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Topical

Cannibal "We woulda steamed yer Sandy but the Cervia boiler's not working"

16/12/2008 17:41:04

Rick wrote this comment:

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Still topical

Sandy Where's da TDC brief when yer need im eh ?

Cannibal He sneaked up to London old man to advise EKMT at the behind closed doors settlement with Preston Steam Museum.

Sandy Well that leaves me in a pretty pickle

Cannibal Thank you I try to be subtle with the turmeric it is my mother's recipe

16/12/2008 17:45:25

Rick wrote this comment:

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Chief gave dat cannibal a bollicking innit for puttin me in da pot. Chief sez he likes his grub more sage like.

16/12/2008 17:55:45

Rick wrote this comment:

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Sandy: So how do you explain dis den from yer dyslexic shorthand

Outgoing Mayor: Stew do

16/12/2008 17:57:12

TROLL wrote this comment:

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Disemvoweled! (122.162.160.61)h m gsh! jst dscvrd r st td, nd thr�s wk n m ktchn tht wll gt th wrkt t dsrvs ths wknd!!! vrthng lks s gd!

23/04/2009 08:48:26

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The Thanet Star

Cllr Ezekiel finally makes us all smile

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